My Decision to Divorce the World

My decision to “divorce” the world was not an easy decision to make for me. I’ve been on a journey, and at each bend in the road I’ve struggled with what path to take, knowing that there was a right one and one that would be not so right. Let me explain how I arrived at this point… Several years ago I left the “corporate” world, desperate to identify where God was leading me on this journey called life. I returned to school to obtain a counseling degree, in my mind I believed that I was destined to work with foster children or broken women, or possibly as a death educator. All these options are unique to themselves but I had this “feeling”, deep down inside of me that God was taking my past experiences, both good and bad and shaping me to impact others in some form or fashion. All along the way I’ve had a passion for being creative. In my studio, I’ve spent hours creating paper crafts, mixed media items and a variety of other things which has brought me great pleasure and satisfaction. I’ve always looked at this side of my life as a “hobby”, even though deep down inside of me it felt like it should be so much    more. As my talent grew, so did my passion for creating and teaching others how to create. As other areas of my life changed, this side of me grew and became better defined until one day I began to wonder if this was the environment God was leading me into. Here is where my conflict began. After all, the world defines us by our titles and how much money we can pin to “who we are” doesn’t it? Being creative is just a hobby….I mean, that’s how the world labels it right? Sweet little women sitting around a table, chatting and crafting…that’s not a job, it’s a way to have fun…..but is it really just a hobby? Everything came to a head last night in our kitchen, as I sat with my husband, attempting to unload all the thoughts going through my mind. He deserved to know why I was acting so flighty and insecure, he sat patiently listening to me as I unpacked my thoughts, my deepest concerns, the conflicts which were causing me to question and doubt who I was and who I was meant to be. “I have no value” I told him, “I don’t understand what God is doing with my life and I’m getting tired” I said as the tears fell from my eyes. I told him that one side of me that lives in this world is telling me to put on my big girl panties, get out there and get a real job and quit whining already! If this is what I was meant to do, then why were there no doors opening up for this? All those resumes submitted and no open doors…. But on the other side, I’m beginning to sell my art, I’ve got classes set up to teach others and they’re paying to come to these classes, I’m beginning to work on my book again….why is this part of my life opening up doors and the other isn’t? I’m so confused at this point, but one thing I’m sure of. God has blessed me with the ability to create, to teach others, to plant seeds through my work and my writing and I’m passionate about this! I love the verse from 1 Peter 4:10 “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” My gift, provided to me by God is through my art…..He gave this to me, just me, I’m uniquely made, a one of a kind creation with this special talent, which He gave to me to use in service to Him. But, but, but…..the world says…… This is where my Husband stops me and “firmly” reminds me that the world is not where value is defined, rather, God has already defined that. But, but but…..The world requires us to place a monetary value on things that we do and if those [...]